There was a time, when I though that the most important to make music was to show my warriors how I felt, at the time I don't always wanted, but this is not the way I do anymore.
Lots of things, not all of them good, has happened to me lately and the main reasons why I'm still here fighting are: the promise I did to myself of getting my dream, the fact my grandma always wanted me to get it, and the strongest one: the unconditional support of my people and fans.
When I was younger I used to ask everybody around me for calling me Monica in public (remember my twitter? @MonicaIsMyName), because it sounded better to me than the way they used to call me, but I don't need it anymore. Working on making music ( yes, I do although it doesn't look like. I have this terrible frustration about can not releasing songs yet, too) has made me find myself and I really want, as I said once long time ago, trying myself. Simply because I need to be honest with you and me . At the time I wanna make come true the dream of two little girls who wished to see their names on the cover of an album.
Apart of this, I used to think I only had to show my warriors when I'm up or when things go good. I still don't know how you know it sometimes but, when I'm down, only you guys, can take me up and you really do. I don't know, but maybe it's because you know me better than what I think and that's why I wanna have a closer relationship with the army. I don't wanna show my feelings and my dream anymore, I wanna share my feelings and dreams with you in all the senses. That's why it's too weird to me when you call me Monica or anything else.
I also read all of your letters I can, and lots of you write that you dreamt with music too. So I found the way of making some dreams come true at the time I do mine, because I know how lucky I am because of the opportunity I have.
I know it's gonna be funny but after repeating thousand of times that "I am Monica Sanz", today I wanna share with all of you my new most said words: "My name is Paytem Jane" ( Warriors can call me Payt like my friends do ;) )
I hope you understand and I hope talking to you soon!
Love you from the bottom of my heart. Claws up!
Payt.
Source: Monica Sanz's Notes
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